Today, I had to go back to hospital for an assessment, following the six day leave that I have completed. The assessment, although fairly overwhelming, went well. They concluded that I was ready to be taken off section, and they have discharged me from hospital. I’m now in the care of the community mental health team for the foreseeable future.
So, I have a few words of thanks. These two words “thank you” don’t come easily to me. I find “sorry” much easier! That is one of the reasons I need therapy, I guess. I have spent most of my life being sorry. Not only for things I do wrong, but also (more often) for who I am. I’m learning, gradually, to say ‘thank you’ rather than sorry. For example, ‘thank you for loving me’, rather than ‘sorry for who I am, I don’t know why you put up with me’. I still find this a real challenge but I intend to practice.
So, thank you. Thank you for your love, prayers, hugs, gifts, and support – financial, practical, emotional, and spiritual.
How does this fit with your morning coffee with Abba? I hear you say. Well it doesn’t really. While enjoying my morning coffee I first opened my Bible at Isaiah 48. I chuckled to myself because the chapters title is Stubborn Israel. It was particularly funny bearing in mind that one of my daughters was being stubborn! So, I read that chapter, but couldn’t think of anything to write. Then I flipped to the New Testament and landed in Colossians, where I read chapter 4. Again, I was struggling with what to write, despite enjoying what I read. So I waited.
After lunch, with my chocolate, I picked up my bible again. This time I opened it at Philippians 4 starting at verse 10. It moved me and so now, I’m going to rewrite it here. I will be slightly altering the words to fit with my own experiences.
So, here is my interpretation of Philippians 4:10-20 (adapted from the NLT version):
How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn’t have the chance to help me (because I’ve always struggled to accept help). Although I have needs, I’m learning to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I am learning, by God’s grace, the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty. You at SBC, along with some others, were the only ones who gave me financial, practical, emotional, and spiritual support when I needed it. No other church did this. Even when I was in hospital you sent/ brought support more than once. I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness (even if that’s only me being back with you – recovering!). At the moment I have all I need – and more! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me (including your time, support, prayers, and love). They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable and pleasing to God. And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Now all glory to Abba our Father forever and ever! Amen.