I’m not very well. I’m writing this blog post from my bed. I’m not fully sure what’s wrong – possibly flu.

I don’t feel too poorly. My sore throat and cough from Saturday and Sunday have cleared up and I don’t have any other symptoms apart from feeling achy and extremely tired.

I’m more concerned about my mental health though. I’m definitely feeling blue on this  ‘blue Monday’. I’m feeling like giving up. I’m feeling worthless and unlovable and as though everyone is better off without me. I know it’s wrong to feel like that. I’ll try to stop. There, even that evokes shame and guilt in me. I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I was better – for you,  mostly, so that you didn’t have to put up with this; with me.

© Hannah Kirk 2019

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