When I was pregnant, with my youngest, I suffered from Hyperemesis – a severe form of ‘morning’ sickness. The safest I felt was in hospital- I’d cry when they sent me home. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I was back in, on a drip.
I feel a bit like that now; this time with my mental health disorders. I feel like the best place for me – perhaps the safest place for me – is hospital. I’m at the point where hospital looks so attractive I’d do anything to get there. But, that’s out of fear and that I doubt I can recover on my own.
As I analysed that, just now, I realised that I’m actually more alone in hospital than I am in the community amongst people who love, care for, and support me. So, what then makes the difference in hospital? What makes my recovery boost in hospital?
Well, closeness to Abba was significant in my recovery and release from hospital last year. So, perhaps I need to spend more time with Him again. I need to seek Him for comfort. I need to speak with Him and listen to Him. I need to spend time in His presence – reading His Word, and listening to worship music. I need a spiritual boost. Perhaps I don’t need to be in hospital for that!