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Just When I was About To Give Up!

I’ve had a tough week, for a variety of reasons. Despite my positive last post I’ve been sorely tempted to give up with my recovery. I even spent a few days last week feeling suicidal again. I didn’t act on it and rested instead – seeking appropriate support and taking my ’emergency’ medication. I managed to resist running away or harming myself in any way.

Yesterday, I did my financial report as Managing Director for Morning Coffee With Abba Ltd, for which this blog forms just one part. The finances are not great. I’ve made a substantial loss in my first financial year. I felt like giving up. Today, however, I’m determined to push through the tough financial climate and try to improve finances in the next financial year.

This determination has come from 3 places: encouragement from the online group that I’m part of; likes and comments on my artwork and photography posts on social media; and this Bible verse, ‘Give me more revelation of your ways, for I see your love and tender care everywhere.’ (Psalm 119:64 TPT). This verse reminded me of my purpose and mission – to “Bring Christ and His Love to Our Communities” which is the shared mission statement of those who attend church with me, and, “Developing a life of hope, freedom, and recovery… through writing, art, and photography”.

I believe that God put the concept behind my business on my heart as a way for me to bless other people and as a blessing for my own recovery from various mental health disorders.

I need to re-focus on Him and His love so that I can pour out from myself what I receive from Him. I can’t bless others from a place of empty. I need to find a way of bringing into focus what He wants me to do and how He wants me to serve.

I’m taking next week off to re-focus and reflect on my what, why, and how… so, watch this space. Although, there will be another post on Friday 6th September…

Blessings, Hannah

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