I've lost count of the number of days we've been on lockdown. I doubt that it will be anywhere near normal for a long time yet. I'm trying not to complain, because there have been so many benefits to this time. But I can't wait to see friends and family again. I miss church, mostly.… Continue reading Why so difficult?
This morning I wrote a blog about my experience of dissociation. As a result I've gained some further insight, which I'd like to share with you. Firstly, I thought I'd clarify that although on paper it reads to be similar to 'day dreaming' or where ones mind wanders, it's almost completely different to that. I'll… Continue reading Dissociation Part 2
Today I'm trying to convince myself that there's more to me than my diagnoses. But, I'm finding it a struggle. It's hard to see myself as anything worthwhile when I have had the outcome from my mental health assessment back in early August. This is who they say I am: Personality Disorder Specified by Traits… Continue reading There’s more to me than this…
Hi! This is me. Whether you like me or not, (and to be honest I assume the later!) I am me. I can only be me. If I were well I'd be writing often, but I'm not well so that explains my absence from your newsfeeds. I'm stuck in a place where shame rules in… Continue reading This is Me
Sometimes it takes a lot before I really hear a message. This week it has taken at least three times, although I’m only going to share the specifics of two of those times. Ten days ago I did something wrong, very wrong. Since then I’ve been punishing myself and struggling with intense guilt and shame. My… Continue reading Redemption
This morning, as I mentioned in my earlier blog post titled frustration, I read Psalm 107. It is a very long Psalm, but I enjoyed reading it. Verses 10-16 reminded me of a picture I drew to accompany some words from the hymn And Can It Be, by Charles Wesley. Here is that picture: Psalm 107:10-16… Continue reading Chains
Today is a bad day, or at least it's a bad day for me. When I say bad, I mean 1 or 2 steps away from crisis and therefore the possibility of ending back in hospital. Hopefully it won't get to that. I seem to be experiencing one trigger after the other that exacerbate the… Continue reading Gotta Get Through This
To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No-one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.… Continue reading Shame